Breaking up is hard to do

I have a secret relationship. His name? Pain. We've been flirting for about a year now, and it finally came to the point where we had to have a DTR (determine the relationship) talk, because things were just not working out for me.

He can be a perfect gentleman at times. The whole time Glenn and I were in Florida he pretty much left me alone. He poked his head in now and then, just to make sure I wouldn't forget him, but thankfully, he respected my time with Glenn.

But over time, he has become more and more abusive and controlling. He is a very jealous boyfriend. He interferes with my other relationships. He does not like my attempts at eating healthy, nor does he appreciate it when I try to do too much. Too much according to his standards, though, not mine. Bring on the vacuuming, carrying bags of groceries in from the car, cleaning out two freezers, and making pizza, and he rears his ugly head. I think he knows our time together is quickly coming to an end, that it won't be long now until I cut him off completely, and he is hanging on for dear life, milking our relationship for all it's worth.

Until we end things completely, there is just one thing that can help me deal with his torture, but it is something that can also have a potentially harmful grip on me. And I am so afraid of going from one negative relationship to another that could have even greater ramifications. This one's name? Percoset. This guy's a player. He's gone from person to person, destroying many lives in the process with his gentle touch and smooth ways.

Last night (actually early this morning) I woke up and Pain was in bed with me. He had a grip on me and would not let go. I wandered downstairs and knew Percoset was my only chance to break free. I embraced Percoset with a cup of water and a bowl-of-cereal chaser. And even though this relationship can be just as controlling, it is so much sweeter. So calming and relaxing, so warm and soft. Who wouldn't want a boyfriend like that? But I just can't let myself get too involved with him, even though he is seductive and enticing.

So here I am, torn between two who are ruling my life. But like a battered wife planning her escape, I have a plan to break free. By this time next week, I am hoping the two Master P's will be gone forever. Goodbye and good riddance.